Unibrow Love

 Wednesday after school, in school basement
full screen shot of two girls walking down a high school basement hallway. They're talking and laughing.

Emily: Ugh that was such a hard workout

Rosie: I know! It'll be worth it though.

Emily: Yeeeah thats true. I can't wait to get home and shower.

Rosie: The school showers are pretty gross, i can't wait either

Emily: And after that i'm gonna pass out on my big fluffy bed.

Rosie: I'm gonna catch up on some shows first.

Emily: You know what we should do? We should go out this weekend and have some fun. We haven't done anything fun in such a long time. 

Rosie: Sure! I'm bored all the time at home anyway

*emily looks over her shoulder*
Emily: (whispering) Oh my god look who's behind us!

Camera cuts to really creepy guy walking down the hallway. Wearing a football shirt with long clumpy greasy hair & a uni-brow.
Camera cuts back to the girls walking down the hallway

Rosie: Oh my god... let's walk faster!

Emily:  *laughing* this day just keeps getting better and better. let's hope we can get away from hi-

Creepy dude: HEY LADIES!
(puts his arm around both of them. girls are grossed out an shrug him off)

Emily: Hi.

Rosie: Hi.

Creepy dude: I'm gonna walk you sexy girls down the stairs, but its gonna cost ya

Rosie: You're disgusting.

Emily: Yeah please go away.

Creepy dude: You two and your jokes. Now come on, let's go

Emily: I'm not joking dumbass. let us go.

Rosie: Yeah you freak stop it!

(creepy dude lets go)

Creepy dude: God you girls are such babies.

Rosie: And YOU'RE such an idiot.

Creepy dude: You're so touchy! Why won't you just calm down and let me walk with you guys. Maybe something more.

Emily: Because you disgust me and when i look at you I puke in my mouth.

Creepy dude: Harsh, its funny your ex tells me you're easy. Actually he tells everyone that.

Emily: What?

Creepy dude: You heard me, what's wrong Emily, can't take the heat?
(gets closer to her) What do i have to do? Tell you i love you?

Emily: Get off of me!

(creepy dude grabs Emily and tries to push her but she is a badass and pushes HIM down the stairs. but this kills him)

Rosie: Oh crap. I don't think he's okay.

Emily: W-well he was trying to hurt me!  It was either me or him and I have a life to live! He was probably just gonna become some creepy guy who hangs out behind schools. 

Rosie: Well that totally justifies murder, the police will love that!

Emily: Hey! I was defending myself okay, and he maybe he isn't dead, let's just go look and see.

(girls walk down the flight of stairs)

Rosie kicks him in the arm

Rosie: Hey creep.

(creep doesn't respond)

Emily: ....mayyybbee he's just messing with us?

Rosie: I'm going to take my top off and pour massage oil all over myself.

(still doesn't respond)

Emily: OH MY GOD HE IS DEAD!

 Rosie: Oh God, i can't go to jail, you know what they do to girls like me in jail? I'm gonna some butch's play thing. Oh god, I can't do this, what the hell did you kill him for?! This is all your fault! Oh god i'm gonna die what are-

Emily slaps Rosie

Rosie: OW! are you gonna off me too now?! damn.

Emily: No you idiot, shut up and listen to me, we are not gonna get caught for this. It's after school, not that many people are around all we have to do is get him off school property to the park across the street. We'll leave him there and then let someone else deal with the mess. The only problem is we're gonna have to get past the janitors and the teachers.

Rosie: And anyone else who is here after school! Emily we should just call the cops and tell them what happened maybe they'll understand. 

 Emily: You wanna be the little bitch girl of Helga?

Rosie: ..no..

Emily: Then come on, we gotta find something to put him on and hide him under.

(they look around determinedly)

Rosie: Over there! There's a cart we can put him on.

Emily: Good, I'll go find something to cover him with.


SCENE 2

(Emily turns corner and walks down dark hallway,  ominous music plays softly in the background and the lights flicker)

Emily (to herself): Well this looks like a-

Janitor Bud: HORROR FILM?!

(Emily screams and backs up)

Janitor Bud: *laughing* You are so easy to scare. Whatcha doing down here anyway? It's 5 o'clock school ended 2 hours ago.

Emily: M-m-me and Rosie were working out in the weight room.

Janitor Bud: Ahh i see. Well why are you coming near my closet? Whatcha need?

Emily: Well, i'm, um, looking for a thick blanket.

Janitor Bud: Why, ya kill someone?! *laughs loudly again* I'm just joshin ya, come on over I don't need to know what it's for!

Emily: *laughing nervously* haha..ha.

(Janitor Bud opens closet and tons of smoke comes out)

Emily: that smells like-

Janitor Bud: AY! I don' ask questions you don't ask questions either. My parents didn't name me BUD for no reason.

Emily: Okay, whatever, can i just have the blanket?

Janitor Bud: Can i just have the blanket... what?

Emily: Can i please have the blanket Janitor Bud?

Janitor Bud: Yes you may.

(hands her blanket)

Janitor Bud: Now get! My wife Mary Jane is waiting for me in there.

Emily: But there's no one-

Janitor Bud: AY! NO QUESTIONS!

Emily: OKAY! yeesh i thought "mary jane" mellowed you out. Thanks for the blanket.

Janitor Bud salutes her and goes into his closet

Emily shakes herself off.
Emily: What an odd old man.

Emily walks back to where her and Rosie are with the creepy guy on the ground.

SCENE 3

Emily: Where's the cart?

Rosie: Well... someone came by and took it cause they said they needed it.

Emily: Did they see him?!?

Rosie: No! No, don't worry. Actually they should be done with it now, I'll go get it.

Emily: Okay, I'm gonna stay here and make sure no one comes by and sees.

Rosie walks in the opposite direction of Emily down the hallway and up some stairs.

Rosie knocks on the door of a classroom.

A nerdy looking guy opens the door.

Eugene: *sniffs* Why hello there!

Rosie: yeah hey Eugene, are you guys done with the cart yet, we really need it.

Eugene: Well, the math and science club was planning on using it right now.  *sniffs*

Rosie: You said you only needed it for a couple minutes!

Eugene: *sniffs* Well, i lied!

Rosie: *gasps* You lied to me Eugene?!

Eugene: Rosie, I've done this litereally hundreds of times how do you keep on forgetting? *sniffs*

( Rosie stares at him blankly) Rosie: ..What?

Eugene: *shakes his head* What do you even need it for? *sniffs*

Rosie: Um... well.. me and Emily-

Eugene: Emily and I

Rosie: No Eugene, ME and emily gosh don't interrupt me. Anyway, we were.. uh... planning a bake sale! And we need that cart to take all of our materials from the basement to the second floor.

Eugene: *sniffs* well why didn't you just say so?! I'm an expert baker, I spend all my weekends with grandma making all sorts of tasty delicacies. I can help you.

Rosie: Man your life stinks.

Eugene: *sniffs indignantly*  Well at least i can differentiate between grammar and an interruption.

Rosie: What?

Eugene: My point exactly.

Rosie: Can i please take the cart now? We really need it.

Eugene: *sniffs* Despite your uncalled for and highly insulting words I will take the high road and allow you to borrow our cart.

Rosie: Does that road go to the basment? Cause that's where I need to go.

Eugene: My god woman. *sniffs*

Rosie goes in and takes the cart, walks out and goes into the elevator and back to where Emily is with the body.

SCENE 4

Emily: You got it! Awesome! Now help me pull him up onto the cart. I already wrapped him up in the blanket.

Rosie: Okay.

(Rosie and Emily lift him up and put him onto the cart)

Rosie: Where should we go?

Emily: Let's go out the back door, they won't be  people there.

Rosie: Okay.

(Rosie and Emily push the cart away until they get to the back door. Rosie holds the door open and Emily pushes him out the door.)

Rosie: Okay, we're almost at the park.

Emily: Yeah, we just need to be calm and hopefuly no one will ask us any-

Ashley: OH MY GOD HEYYYY GUYS

Emily:  Crap!

Rosie: Oh no..

(Ashley runs over)

Ashley: GUYS! I have SO much to tell you. Okay, like, on the weekend, I went to this party that was like sooo awesome. The guys there were soo hot.

Emily: Don't you have a boyfriend?

Ashley: Not on the weekends I don't! *laughing annoyingly*

Rosie: That's.. great.

Ashley: SO ANYWAY, there was this totally hot guy who was soo into me, I could just tell.

Emily: How?

Ashley: *laughing annoyingly* Come ON guys, its me, look at me?! I'm so freaking sexy it  hurts. (flips her hair and moves "seductively")

Rosie: Yeah.. okay, well that's great but we gotta go we're kinda busy.

Ashley: Too busy for your BFF?!

Emily: Well no, but you're not my best friend.

Ashley: Someone's pms-ing.

Emily: Just go away, we don't have time for you.

(Ashley walks closer to the cart and dead body)

Ashley: Why? What's under this thing?

Rosie: Nothing! Don't worry about it, j-just tell us about your weekend.

(Ashley leans on the cart)
Ashley: Okay you know that guy, he's like, on the football team or something?

(Rosie and Emily look at each other uneasily)

Emily: Um.. does he have long greasy hair?

Ashley: If by greasy you mean gorgeous then YEAH.

Emily: Actually by greasy i mean greasy but whatever. Does he have a unibrow?

Ashley: Yeaaah i like, totally love his eyebrow hair. He nuzzles me with it goodnight.

camera cuts to semi-close up of Rosie and Emily

Rosie(whispers): I think I just puked...

Emily(whispers): We just gotta get her outta here, then we'll be fine. (talking normally) Haha, how.. um.. romantic.

Camera cuts back to all three of them.

(ashley flips hair) Ashley: I know right! He so totally loves me! But we were supposed to meet up today at the park across the street like 10 minutes ago and he's still not there.

Rosie: Oh shit.

Ashley: I know, like, i should totally punish him for this!

Rosie: Um yeah.

Emily: Hey! you know what? Last i heard, he was on the second floor, maybe you should go look there.

Ashley: OMG like thanks! You know, like, everyone calls you cold hearted and easy but i totally think you're like not that bad.

(Ashley runs off like a drunk giraffe)
(Emily murmuring and starting to go after her)
Emily: I'll show you cold hearted you dumb little-

(Rosie holds her back)

Rosie: Let it go! Come on, she makes me look like Einstein.

Emily: Lemme at her!

Rosie: No, we have more important stuff to do, like, i don't know (whispers) take care of a certain dead guy!

(Emily stops struggling and stands up, straightens out her clothes)
Emily: You're right, I'm sorry. Let's go.

(Emily starts pushing the cart again, they both cross the street and go into the park)

SCENE 5

Emily and Rosie have succesfully gotten the cart across the street and into the park. By now, the sun is starting to set and there aren't as many people in the park. They walk to a thick set of trees and stop.

(Emily takes a deep breat)
Emily: Okay, okay, we.. we can do this.

Rosie: I don't feel good about this.

Emily: And you think I do?

Rosie: No! No, of course not, but i don't know if i can do this.

Emily: We don't really have a choice do we?

(audience can see that the body on the cart is starting to move)

Rosie: We DO have a choice, we can call the police! Maybe they'll unerstand.

Emily: Yeah, of course they will, because that makes complete sense. My ex tells everyone a bunch of lies and now I'm the school slut. And no one believes me when I deny it! So imagine what's going to happen when they found out I killed someone, even by accident!

(Rosie is silent, turns around to walk away and sees him moving. She is speechless)

Emily: Oh that's great, just turn around and ignore me, that's going to solve this. You knwo what? It's okay, you can go, this isn't your responsibility. I can do this myself, I can fix this myself! I'll just-

Rosie: Shhh! Look!
(Rosie grabs her and turns her around to the moving and groaning body)

Emily ( whispers) : Woaahh.

Rosie (whispers) : Is it possible that..

Emily (whispers) : Maybe, i mean, we didn't check his..

both of them together (yelling) : His pulse!

Rosie: Oh my God, blonde moment of the freaking year!

Emily (laughing slightly): Jeez we didn't even check, wow, we're geniuses.

Rosie: Well let's get that blanket off of him.

Emily: Wait, what are we gonna tell him?

Rosie: I don't know, let's just wing it. We can figure something out. We almost covered up a murder i think we can handle some lying to him.

Emily: Yeah you're right. 

(They both walk to the cart and pull the blanket off of him)

Creepy guy( tired, confused voice): What's going on?

Emily: You pissed me off and I knocked you out.

Creepy guy (tired, confused): Yeah that sounds  like something you'd do.

Rosie: Meh, you had it coming.

(creepy guy sits up on cart and puts his hand on his forehead)
Creepy guy: damn that hurts.

Rosie: Well, now you know, if you ever say something like that to Emily again, she'll knock you out.
(steps closer)
And I will hurt you in ways you can't even imagine.

Creepy guy: whatever,  i have a date with a sexy lady. She's way hotter than both of you. Her unibrow, it has shown me new levels of furriness I've never seen before.

Emily: Okay, that definitely made me puke in my mouth..

Rosie: Yeah i'm there with you...

(creepy guy hops off of cart and walks away, then points)
creepy guy: And there she is!

Camera cuts to a slow motion shot of Ashley running towards him, looking like a hot mess.

 Ashley: OMG you guys better not be trying to poach my honey baby!

Rosie: Oh please.

Emily: I've lost count of how many times i've nearly puked today.

Rosie: That can't be healthy.

Emily: Nah i don't tihnk so.

(Ashley flips hair) Ashley: You're just jealous of our love.

Creepy guy: Yeah, our unibrow love.

Ashley and Creepy guy hug and nuzzle their unibrows.

Rosie: Oh god...

Emily: that is so wrong on so many levels.

Camera shot on the happy disgusting couple walking away as the sun sets.

END! :) By Veronica and Amanda
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